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A band-aid

It has been forever since I last posted; and a lot has happened. After I lost my job (yes, I was let go) I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I had to hurry and take care of things for the sake of my daughter, but I knew rushing into something was just gonna be a quick fix; A band-aid. Rent was due, Madie’s tuition, Food… they were creeping up on me real fast and I had to do something. Now, I am not saying I am unhappy at this new job of mine (yes, I found a job!) but my income is way less than before and I am finding myself stretching at both ends to the point I am almost transparent. It was at a point where depression and stress really sat in. Life Sucked. There really was no other way to put it; it was just not what I expected my life to be at this point.

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Then after two months, I hit a huge obstacle in my life. I had to have emergency surgery to remove a mass and an ovary. Not exactly what I needed at that moment. Than it hit me! If I had been at my old job, they would have not saved my position because I was the only one in that field. I would have lost my job and worse, I wouldn’t have been able to find a new one because I was on strict bed rest. I can’t even imagine the roller coaster that would have been and frankly, I do not want to know. This is where I realize God had it planned the whole time. It isn’t what I wanted and It defiantly wasn’t the right timing, but God does things to us to help us remember that he is always there. Yes, I still was in a pickle and still am, but not as much as I could have been. It’s those little things that hit you like a ton of bricks and make you realize you were wrong the entire time. Life doesn’t suck. It may have just made a different turn but the road did not end. I still have a roof over my head, food somehow appears on our table and I am kept warm at night thanks to heat. I have to remember to count my blessings; not my curses.

I think as adults we tend to forget what we are blessed with and we let time go by and not appreciate what we have. He doesn’t want us to dwell on what we could have had, he wants us to remember what we do have.

My Blessings

  • I got to keep my job & they’re working with me to settle back in easier
  • GOD BLESS AFLAC (No Joke!)
  • Because it was during the holidays, extra gifts helped pay for expenses
  • Felt the love with food thanks to Church, Family and Friends
  • Madie got to spend more time with Mommy

I could go on but those seem to be a good examples of what I experienced. God was there. God knew. God provided.

What blessings have you experienced?

– J

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At rest…

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Jumanji. Hook. Dead Poets Society. Popeye. Good Will Hunting. Aladdin. What Dreams May Come.

What do these movies have in common? A great story? Sure. A happy ending? Of course. But these movies weren’t only amazing because of their screenplays. All had one amazing common denominator: Robin Williams.

As I still try to grasp around the details of Williams’ demise and accept the fact I will never see him on my screen in the near future; I do however have a smile on my face when I think of all the movies I grew up with. My childhood was awesome because Robin Williams was in it. I got to see my imagination come to life with his performances and for that Robin, I thank you. I thank you for the laughs. I thank you for the tears. I thank you for your generous heart. You were the epitome of a gentle soul; an amazing human being. I just wish you knew that yourself. I’m sad to know you felt alone. I’m sad you felt the world didn’t need you. Truth is Robin, we all needed you. We never stopped. I have suffered depression in my life and I can tell you, curling up to a good Robin Williams movie did the trick most of the time. Sometimes the only reason I saw a movie was because Robin Williams was in. Did you know he was on SVU? I saw it. And I don’t even watch the show on a regular basis.

Point I’m trying to make is; I’m sad. As a fan, I am grieving. I am not sure I have ever grieved harder for a celebrity before and I hope Robin knows just how much his family, friends and fans loved him. He was truly one of a kind and irreplaceable. The world has a slight void and it’s because he is no longer here.

“A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in Heaven. Then we’ll all be together forever.”What Dreams May Come

– J

PS. If you or someone you know suffers from depression, please do NOT hesitate to call. I believe if one life is saved, it honors Robin’s memory. Thank you.

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