Me Too: A single, Christian woman bears all

A great post about being a single Christian woman (men as well can related to this too!) a must read!

peanutbutter and shelley


“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Dr. Brené Brown

It’s 4 a.m. and I haven’t been able to get this short burst of bravery out of my soul. If I wait any longer, no doubt I will question my actions, sloughing them off as stupidity in action. I fell asleep to Bethel’s “You Make Me Brave” on repeat and woke up a few hours later with my story forming in my head. I felt like I had just enough courage to share with the world a piece of me that I rarely ever…

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At rest…


Jumanji. Hook. Dead Poets Society. Popeye. Good Will Hunting. Aladdin. What Dreams May Come.

What do these movies have in common? A great story? Sure. A happy ending? Of course. But these movies weren’t only amazing because of their screenplays. All had one amazing common denominator: Robin Williams.

As I still try to grasp around the details of Williams’ demise and accept the fact I will never see him on my screen in the near future; I do however have a smile on my face when I think of all the movies I grew up with. My childhood was awesome because Robin Williams was in it. I got to see my imagination come to life with his performances and for that Robin, I thank you. I thank you for the laughs. I thank you for the tears. I thank you for your generous heart. You were the epitome of a gentle soul; an amazing human being. I just wish you knew that yourself. I’m sad to know you felt alone. I’m sad you felt the world didn’t need you. Truth is Robin, we all needed you. We never stopped. I have suffered depression in my life and I can tell you, curling up to a good Robin Williams movie did the trick most of the time. Sometimes the only reason I saw a movie was because Robin Williams was in. Did you know he was on SVU? I saw it. And I don’t even watch the show on a regular basis.

Point I’m trying to make is; I’m sad. As a fan, I am grieving. I am not sure I have ever grieved harder for a celebrity before and I hope Robin knows just how much his family, friends and fans loved him. He was truly one of a kind and irreplaceable. The world has a slight void and it’s because he is no longer here.

“A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in Heaven. Then we’ll all be together forever.”What Dreams May Come

– J

PS. If you or someone you know suffers from depression, please do NOT hesitate to call. I believe if one life is saved, it honors Robin’s memory. Thank you.

Suicide Hotline

Taking for Granted

Isn’t it always the same? “Why is this happening to me?” Or “What did I do to deserve this?”. I know each one of us has said this at least once in our lifetime and it could be for something big or something small. Usually when we are having a bad day or a bad time in our lives, we feel we are alone and it’s the worse thing that could ever happen to us. Of course, this is normal and everyone does it, but have you ever come across someone else’s story that makes you think “wow, my life isn’t so bad after all”? Well that happened to me recently when going on one of my walks.

We live near a cemetery and it’s a very nice place to ride, run or walk through. It’s very peaceful (no pun intended) and the scenery is beautiful. I stop and look at the tombstones once in a while as I walk by and I couldn’t help notice three graves kind of off in the corner of one area of the cemetery; since I am curious I walked towards it. Reading the names I saw it was a mother and her two children and dates stemmed back to the early 1900’s. Where am I going with this? Well since I saw no husband or father near this family, I can only assume she was a single mother; since I am also a single mother, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to it. Reading more of their stones however made me feel how lucky I am; even with all that’s on my plate.

The mother lived up until her late 50s. Very young indeed but back than during certain times there were a lot of deaths at early ages for many reasons. What makes this sad though is when I saw her daughter’s tombstone. It read “1920-1930”; only ten years old when she passed. This woman had lost her child at a young age and it made me sad to see that. Here, however, is the even sadder part. You see the next tombstone was of her son; born a year after her daughter’s death. Clearly the woman decided to have another child, not to replace the one she lost, but to try and be strong and move on. What’s the sad part you say? Well the son’s tomb only read “1931” meaning he was either stillborn or died as an infant. Not only did she lose out on her second chance of being a mother but she lost yet another child. I can’t imagine what this woman must have been going through and it just made me sit and think about my own life.

Yes, my life is not easy. In some ways it can be downright horrible; but I can’t keep running the lines “why is this happening to me?” when there is far worse happening to others. I have it pretty lucky so far and I should be grateful. You see, The Lord has plans for all of us. We never know why or what is to come of those plans but they are ours nonetheless. We may not like it sometimes and may have a pity party over it but we must trust and have faith in Christ that he will and always will take care of us no matter what is thrown at us. This woman lived 30 more years after her son’s death and even though I do not know where her heart lied when it came to Christ, she clearly did live a life of some sort after losing her children. It wasn’t easy and it shouldn’t be, but when we are put in horrible or uncertain situations, we only have two jobs to do; listen and give it to God. He wants us to turn to him. He wants us to want him. We may never known what his plan is for us but we must always trust that it’s right; and we must always never take life for granted. No matter what this world throws at us, God has our backs.

– J