12 years of…

roadToday marks a day that ultimately changed my life forever. Even though theĀ  immediate outcome was good, the long-term outcome I still suffer. Twelve years ago, I was a victim of a hate crime. Not many know this and may be somewhat surprised about, but it is something I don’t really get into. Not that it is hard to talk about, it is just something I never needed to bring up. The story is pretty straight forward. I was walking with my then-boyfriend and we were jumped because we were white. He was attacked first but I ended up defending him somehow and I got the brunt of their anger. The reason I know this is because my injuries were so much more pronounced than his. He suffered a mild concussion with a cut to the cheek, but visibly okay. I, on the other hand, was beaten with such force that my face was swollen in multiple areas; cuts in my mouth (I had just gotten my braces), a hairline fracture to my skull near my temple and I was stomped on so hard that a shoe print was visible in a bruise near my eye. I clearly had a major concussion with memory damage. Even after 12 years, only bits and pieces have vaguely appeared in my memory but over all, I do not remember what happened that night. As time has passed, I have noticed my memory getting worse and worse. I see myself forgetting things more and quicker. Walking into a room or even in the middle of doing something I will forget. It does take time to try and remember but sometimes It can take hours or days before It comes to my mind again. It really isn’t easy and sometimes I see myself feeling depressed over my condition. Continue reading

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A band-aid

It has been forever since I last posted; and a lot has happened. After I lost my job (yes, I was let go) I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I had to hurry and take care of things for the sake of my daughter, but I knew rushing into something was just gonna be a quick fix; A band-aid. Rent was due, Madie’s tuition, Food… they were creeping up on me real fast and I had to do something. Now, I am not saying I am unhappy at this new job of mine (yes, I found a job!) but my income is way less than before and I am finding myself stretching at both ends to the point I am almost transparent. It was at a point where depression and stress really sat in. Life Sucked. There really was no other way to put it; it was just not what I expected my life to be at this point. Continue reading