Love, Sex and Dating

My church is doing a great series about Love, Sex and Dating. Its about topics churches or people usually try to avoid but in this day and age, it needs to be said. Divorce rates are growing and unfortunately I am part of that percentage; something I didn’t want to be a part of. I did miss the first part of the series because I was volunteering for the children’s ministry but as I caught up and listened to part 2 of Love, Sex and Dating, something really caught my attention.

Part 2 was more focused to the men and how they treat woman. As I listened on how men are suppose to treat their wives, or even women in general, I was thinking about my experience with dating and the relationships I had. I’ve only had two relationships. I wasn’t the kind of girl to date; I courted. The first guy I was with I was with for 4 years and we started to date when I was 17. Unfortunately being very naive, I made horrible decisions. During those 4 years he had cheated on me with 6 different women and then got engaged to someone else while he was still with me. I was hurt and devastated and I felt I did something wrong. He was the only guy I had ever been with and I felt It was my fault on what he did. After 8 months I found someone else who I thought I was going to be for the rest of my life; though I didn’t do it the right way. Because I was so hurt from my last relationship, I jumped into this new one out of need. I wanted to be married, I wanted to be love and I wanted to feel like I belonged.

After meeting in February of 2007, we were engaged in April of 2007 and then married by December of 2007. I thought I was doing the right thing but as time went on we realized we had nothing in common and it was a struggle day in and day out. Even after our daughter was born, we still had issues and it wasn’t getting any better. I had the tough decision to make on what was going to be best for me and my daughter. I asked for a separation in hopes to repair the marriage, but it didn’t work. Our history and issues we had just took over and we couldn’t work it out. We then divorced in 2011.

Reason I am telling you this is because even though I was only with two men, they had been with multiple women. Many relationships and dating, something I never did. I thought about this as I was listening to Love, Sex and Dating; thinking on how I tried to do the right thing but with the wrong men. Not that they are horrible guys, but they didn’t see me as a woman to love and take care of; they saw me as a commodity. After this I feel like I’m losing hope on the men in this world. I want to be loved, be taken care of and share something special with someone else; and be a wonderful father to my daughter; though I’m not sure how many men are like that anymore.

I have to keep my faith in God that he has a man out there for me and not to  rush. I am an impatient person but being impatient is what got me hurt in the first place and I need to learn to leave everything in the Lord. It’s not easy but I have to have faith that I will find a wonderful man to spend the rest of my life with and be a great father to my daughter. I have to have faith that this series can help not only me but everyone who needs a realization and not be part of the majority in this world. I have to have faith period.

– J

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