Being a Christian isn’t the easiest thing in the world, especially in the world we live in. I tend to struggle with what’s right and getting lost in the mix of things that is not. I never understood why God gave us free will. It’s such a hard lesson and its lesson that other’s don’t even pay attention too or want too. Right now in my life, it hasn’t been easy. So many things have come up at once that I just felt like giving up, not caring anymore. The only thing that kept me going was Madie and I don’t know what would happen to me If she wasn’t in my life. A friend told me to tie a knot in my last thread and hang on, which is great advice because I do have Madie. As I try to focus more on the Lord, I notice it being harder and harder to be faithful to him. The demons inside me tend to overpower me with anger, guilt, and resentment. The more I struggled, the more I began to realize why we have free will. The Lord wanted us to chose him, to love him and to learn to help make the world a better place. The Lord loved us in such a way we can’t even imagine doing ourselves and we should be grateful for that. I think in this world, we tend to forget exactly what Jesus did, and that is a shame because it’s the greatest love we can ever receive. Even when people knock us down, put us down or hurt us, we must look to the Lord and forgive those who have hurt us and pray that the Lord can speak to them and help them.
I came across a scripture that really hit me hard. It was in Colossians 3:13-19. It speaks on how we should forgive one another, love one another and let Jesus into our hearts. It also speaks on how a husband and wife should be, which is one of the struggles I am having at the moment. There is so much hate in this world that the littlest things can set us off. Then when it’s a big thing, we tend to go off the deep end. But I realized If we look to the Lord, even with those small problems, It will be ok. We have to have faith and trust in him, turn to him. That is hardest thing to learn, but it’s well worth it!
Colossians 3:13-19 ~ “Bearing with one another and, if one has complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing, psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
In this world we can be tempted with so many different things that in some cases we don’t even know that it’s wrong. It can be something has horrible as murder to something so minor as eating too much. My struggle at the moment is possibly being too invested in Days of our Lives. As much as it seems to be something so harmless, I tend to realize I have put my focus more on that then the Lord. I began to feel that pain in my chest, that conviction, knowing what I was doing was wrong. But how do I change that when the reason I got so invested in the first place was because of the issues at home? I realized that instead of turning to Days of our Lives, I should turn to the Lord instead. Read the bible instead of reading the show’s spoilers, talk to a friend about God instead about the next episode of Days. It’s not bad to be invested, but if it takes priority over God, then it’s like what Jesus did was for nothing. Since there is so much going on in my life, my marriage and my circumstances, I have to remember to forgive those who have hurt me. Love those people who do not love me. Turn to the Lord for comfort and guidance. Became the wife that I am suppose to be, and still be the mother I am. The Lord loves us, and that is the greatest gift, and we need to take that and show that to others. No matter what happens.