Moving in two weeks has made me more excited but also feel very down. I have never liked living in California just because it was hard to live here. Brett couldn’t hold down a job and with the economy going down California was just becoming worse. And i never liked the weather here either. Sun is not my friend, i get very sick from it and have always wanted to live somewhere where it rains and has clouds. Moving to Reno will give me more of it even though it does have its heat moments but it is a good start. Now leaving California you would think would be easy but it is not. I am not very good with change and leaving my family and places i know is hard for me. Also adjusting to something new is going to be hard. I was in Reno not long ago to find a place and i felt like a tourist and i think i will feel that way for a while. Knowing they do not have an Albertsons or even a Chik-fil-a is just weird to me because that is what i grew up with (at least they have a Del Taco!) I dunno, it does seem odd to be upset over little things but its the little things i remember and alot of my memory isn’t very well so having a reminder of it helps… i feel like i am going to a foreign country and i just don’t know what to do. Everyone says “at least you will have your parents and hubby with you” but that isn’t going to be enough. I mean ya its nice they are there but the familiarity is going to be gone… my emotions have been up and down for a while now and i have been very depressed. Also knowing that i have to live with my parents isn’t easy either because i want to be out on my own but i know its not the best for my family. It is just going to be very hard.
I am not one to be angry at God for how my life is because i am a strong believer that God has a plan for us no matter what position we are in but i am a very inpatient person and i think that is my one most horrible human flaw that i have. I missed out on Church for a whole month and i think that really effected my spirit and i am trying to get back into my rhythm before i go, but i only got a week left and that is going to be very hard. Finding a church will be hard. Brett has already found one but i am hesitant on how it is going to work out because i am so use to my church’s style. I don’t want my pride to get in the way of excepting a new church in my life because it only matters of me being close to God. I just have alot to deal with in a short time and i don’t want any of my issues to cause problems with my family or any other part of my life. It is hard to balance the two and try to make a happy medium. Where do i begin?